Downtown Lunch & Downer Eric

Lunch was good. I felt like Italian food, Charles felt like steak, and we met somewhere in the middle with Chinese food. We order our usual dishes, I'm a chicken type guy, and Charles settles with something 'beefy'. We both opt out on tea, realizing that our caffeine levels are getting dangerously high.

On the way there Charles kept punching me in the arm every time the chorus to that classic rock song kicked in; a little too wound-up, and excited for Chinese food.

Charles orders everything in Chinese, I'm not sure how fluent he is, but I get what I wanted off the menu and he seems happy, so he can't be half bad.

I always put too much spice on my food and end up sniffling for an hour or two afterwards.

As we head back to the car we run into Eric, a guy I went to college with, and whom I don't care for too much. It's not my fault really, Eric is outright annoying as every conversation he has with anybody is about himself. I guess you have to feel sorry for the guy, wanting everybody to like him so much that he feels the need to sell himself as being great to the world. “Things could not. Be. Better”, he draws out, trying to highlight the greatness. Shifting weight from one leg to the next, back and forth, as Eric, 'the center of the universe', talks about himself. “Blah blah, I just bought a new car, blah blah... and it was amazing... blah blah... new girlfriend blah blah...”

I keep giving him the “that's great Eric, glad to hear things are going good”, looking for an exit, shifting hips in the walking away direction. Good gosh Man! Learn to read body language; I want to go, I got to go, I have places I need to be. Eric keeps fixing his already perfect collar on his new shirt that he just bought because he's so wonderful. I contemplate faking that I have an important incoming call, pulling out my wallet, cupping it, looking at it as though it was a beeper on vibrate with an important message that would require me to leave with the great urgency.

When we finally get away and out of sight of Eric, Charles chirps up, “Wow, that was painful.” I nod, agreeing.

You have to feel sorry for Eric, the poor sap. Trying to get people to like him, he tries to sell himself, and usually fails. He doesn't seem to realize that it's a two-way street, that people don't want to just hear about him. And those who know him are especially uninterested in his success and how “great things are going” spiels, as we all know that the his dad funds all of his toys, education, crisp white polo shirts with perfect collars, and generally everything “great”. The one thing he wants, acceptance, he chases away with his only bait, talking about himself.