Fat & Plaid

In the parking lot, two men, who look to be in their forties, both wearing plaid, long sleeve shirts are leaning, against a pick-up truck on opposite sides, and are talking. The one on the passenger side sporadically throws his head back, laughing uncontrollably as he tells a story, full of gestures, to his truck-leaning friend. I nudge Charles and point with my chin in their direction, knowing he'll be as amused as I am – Charles has had a few negative run-ins with plaid farmer types, and isn't too fond of them, to say the least.

Without any prompting, both of us start into the dubbing game – a passionate tribute to old, English dubbed Kung-Fu movies, that always involve a drunk old guy who teaches an underling how to fight through chores and cooking chicken. Charles does the voice for the larger man, the one who does all the laughing, arm flaying and most of the talking; I'm the voice-over for the other guy.

“So there I was, just minding my business...”, Charles says in his most baritone voice.

It's my turn, the other guy is talking, “And what? What business?”

“Well, this thing, this flying thing...”, Charles waves his arms, mimicking the fat man in plaid in the parking lot.

“No kidding. What color was it?”, I start on cue.

“Doesn't matter, it was bright, like a flying Christmas tree. A UFO or sometin”, responds Charles, as the fat man in plaid.

“No kidding. Then what? What? Tell me what?”, I ramble, as my character, is talking more than expected.

Suddenly C.C.T. (the Cute Coffee Girl) is at the table next to us, both of us look at her, startled, does she know what we've been doing?, did she hear us?, and does she think we're weird now. She puts a dirty cup on an adjacent plate, gives the table a clean wipe, smiles at us, the kind of smile that says, “Silly boys...”, and leaves. Charles has both arms straight up in the air, presumably a “UFO kidnapping” voice-over was to follow. We look at each other, quickly 'act cool', flipping through our papers and taking sips of coffee every 5 seconds; both of us are a bit embarrassed.

Its time to leave, Charles agrees, and we head for the door. It's been an eventful morning, and the day looks like it might just get better, with Charles suggesting lunch downtown. He always pays when we go for supper downtown.